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[新闻&资讯] 与孩子保持亲密关系成了女演员Mayim Bialik生活的重中之重 [复制链接]

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百纪琥珀 发表于 2012-4-16 19:49:07 |显示全部楼层
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本帖最后由 百纪琥珀 于 2012-4-16 19:49 编辑

Attachment parenting is a holistic way of life for actress Mayim Bialik

Mayim Bialik, well known for her actingroles in “Beaches,” “Blossom” and “The Big Bang Theory,” has released a newbook, “Beyond the Sling: A Real-Life Guide to Raising Confident, LovingChildren the Attachment Parenting Way.”

ByHeather Warlick-Moore| Published: April 9, 2012
If you were a teen or the parent of one in the late '80s or early '90s, youmight fondly rememberMayim Bialikas Blossom, TV's beloved quirky girl whosecoming-of-age journey played out for five seasons on the sitcom of the samename.

Mayim Bialik blows bubbles with her son, Fred, 3. Photo provided.

In her earlier acting career, Bialik, 36, received international acclaim forher role as the youngBette Midlerin “Beaches.”
The actress is now receiving accolades for her portrayal ofAmy Farrah Fowler,the dry, socially challenged, yet lovable brainiac girlfriend ofSheldonCooperonCBS's “The Big Bang Theory.”
As the leading lady in her own life, Bialik is as dynamic as any of heron-screen characters — she's a granola girl likeBlossom(her family are allvegans) and a scholar like Amy Farrah Fowler (she has a doctorate inneuroscience fromUCLA, and she became a lactation education counselor throughonline extension courses).
She's also the author of a new book, “Beyond the Sling: A Real-Life Guide toRaising Confident, Loving Children the Attachment Parenting Way.”
In the book, Bialik sheds light on her unconventional philosophies andpractical experiences as a parent using a holistic and gentle approach toparenting.
“Attachment parenting,” a style of child rearing made famous by Dr.WilliamSears, includes natural birth, breast-feeding, sleeping with your children,wearing your babies in slings and gentle forms of potty training anddiscipline.
“When we treat our children kindly and expect love and give love, we hopefullyare raising children that then expect that and give that to the world aroundthem,” Bialik said in a recent phone interview. “It is very consistent with a‘green' style of parenting.”
Bialik and her husband of eight years,Mike Roosevelt, also 36, employ theprinciples of attachment parenting with both her children: Miles, 6, and Fred,31/2.
Though she is an expert on attachment parenting now, Bialik said that beforeshe had children, she never had much interest in babies or child rearing.
“I never really thought much about it,” she said.
But she had friends, a couple with children, who did think about parenting — alot.
“They seemed obsessed with their kids,” she said. “They seemed like they werethinking and talking way too much about everything.”
As the friends' kids grew up, Bialik and Roosevelt were impressed by aninteresting and unusual dynamic within this family.
“We saw children that were not parented by force or by fear. The children hadan appropriate voice — they had a voice that mattered, even if it didn't trumpthe parents. They felt that they mattered.”
“Undoubtedly, most parents hope to parent in a way that leads to their childrenleading happy productive lives,” respondedDr. Laura McGuinn, a developmentaland behavioral pediatrician atUniversity of Oklahoma Child Study Center, in anemail interview.

“The methods grouped as attachment parenting are rooted in this desire andguided by the belief that responsive mothering in infancy and toddlerhood leadsto securely attached, confident children and eventually adults,” shestated.MULTIMEDI
When Bialik became pregnant with Miles, she and Roosevelt decided to try theattachment parenting method for themselves.

Doctor seeks evidence

The method may not be right for everyone and is controversial in some ways —Miles and Fred sleep with their parents every night. They were breast-fed untilready to quit — Bialik still nurses Fred sporadically, as he slowly weanshimself.
“At first glance, attachment parenting advice seems reasonable and promising,”McGuinn said.
Though she hasn't read Bialik's book, McGuinn said more scientific informationabout attachment parenting is needed, especially for children older than 2.
“Unfortunately, most of the available books and information give sound advicebut offer little to no theory or scientific evidence to back up theirrecommendations.”
Bialik said that some of her research for the book was based on her doctoral thesis,for which she studied the hormones of human attachment, including oxytocin,vasopressin and prolactin.
“Oxytocin, specifically, is one of the main things that helps get the baby inand get the baby out,” Bialik said, only half jokingly.
These hormones are also largely responsible for the bonding process thathappens between a mother and her infant.
The progressive parents live in a very smallLos Angeleshome — their one-bedroomhas two mattresses on the floor on which the family co-sleeps.
The children don't have a playroom filled with the latest toys — Bialik andRoosevelt have made a conscious decision to keep their material lives simpleand minimal.
“Our society's obsession with consumerism, especially in the realm of babythings, baby soaps and baby products. ... That's something that my husband andI, partly for frugality and partly for environmental reasons, have reallyrejected.”
The kids have plenty to keep them entertained and educated, and everything andeverybody in the household gets clean, Bialik says.
“We figure everything out without spending a lot of money on that kind ofstuff.”

Physical closeness

Keeping her children as physically close as possible is key to Bialik'smothering. For her babies' first several months of life, she carried them,nestled to her body, in a sling.
“For me, baby-wearing made me able to go out, kept my hands free and it kept mybaby close,” she said.
Aside from also making nursing convenient and fostering a close bond with herbaby, Bialik cites research that shows that cultures that keep their babiesclose and nurse them frequently often do not report colic.
She used a wrap-style sling that cost about $35 for both her sons. Sherecommends a sling that holds baby in his natural shape — not upright as manypopular carriers are positioned.

Potty training

In “Beyond the Sling,” Bialik also writes about elimination communication as aform of early potty training that encourages parents to recognize their child'snatural signals instead of waiting until the child is older, then introducingthe toilet.
“You're basically training your child to use their pants as a bathroom and thentwo years later we have to turn around and do all sorts of complicatedmanipulations to get them to unlearn that,” she said.
She's the spokeswoman forHolistic Moms Network, a nonprofit organization ofparents who share similar parenting ideals. She's planning a second book onparenting and stays busy as a full-time cast member of “The Big Bang Theory.”
But for Bialik and Roosevelt, their children are No.1. Attachment parenting maynot be for all families, but for Bialik's, it's a natural.
“Most of our life is really centered around trying to be the parents we want tobe.”

Mind the mind

OU's McGuinn cites an important line of work byElizabeth Meinsand colleaguesinEnglandthat explores “mind-minded” parents who respect and treat theirchildren as individuals with minds, feelings, thoughts, and beliefs of theirown.
Much of Meins' research includes a focus on “how early caregiver‘mind-mindedness' (caregivers' attunement to their infants' thoughts andfeelings) predicts children's subsequent social-cognitive and social-emotionaldevelopment, particularly with respect to children's attachment security andtheory of mind.”
“This type of parenting has been linked to children developing more empathy andperspective-taking capacity,” McGuinn said.
“A take-home message is that kids are pretty resilient and there is not likelyone perfect way to parent your child,” she said. “Allowing yourself to enjoy theexperience and forgive and learn from any mistakes you make along the way iskey.”


与孩子保持亲密关系成了女演员Mayim Bialik生活的重中之重

    这位以出演“Beaches,”“Blossom(《布洛瑟姆》)”以及’“The Big BangTheory(《生活大爆炸》)”出名的演员出了一本新书 《不仅仅是亲密: 亲密育儿法之实践教程,如何教育子女充满自信充满爱》。

    如果你本身是个80后或者你有个80后的孩子, 你会开心的想起一部叫做Blossom(《布洛瑟姆》)的情景喜剧,它讲述了一位古怪女孩儿的成长之路。而在这部播出了五季的剧集中饰演同名女主角的正是MayimBialik。

    现年36岁Bialik在她的早期演艺生涯中,因在“Beaches”中饰演年轻时的BetteMidlerin获得国际上的赞誉。这位演员现在接受了以她本人为原型的AmyFarrah Fowler这一角色--在CBS的"TheBig Bang Theory"这一剧集中饰演Sheldon Cooperon那乏味,让人哭笑不得,但又讨人喜欢的天才女友。在她自己的生活之中,Bialik就像她荧幕中的角色一样充满活力— 她像Blossom一样是个granola主义者(她一家子都是素食者),她也是一个像AmyFarrah Fowler一样的学者(已获得由UCLA授予的神经学博士学位)。同时,她通过网络拓展课程成为一名育儿教育顾问。现在,她成了这部新书 《不仅仅是亲密: 亲密育儿法之实践教程,如何教育子女充满自信充满爱》的作者。在这本书中,Bialik描述了自己传统截然不同的教育理论,并用自己的亲身经历展示出一种全面而温和的育儿方式。"亲密育儿法",由WilliamSears博士提出的育儿方法论, 包括自然分娩,母乳喂养,和孩子一起睡,背着孩子,以及进行温柔的如厕训练等。“我们满怀柔情的对待自己的孩子,给予并渴望爱的回报,与此同时,我们期待自己养育的孩子在这之后能够给周围的人们也回报以爱.” 在最近一次的电话采访中Bialik说道,“这可是一种非常"生态"的养育方式.”Bialik和她同样36岁的丈夫,MikeRoosevelt,在8年前步入了婚姻的殿堂.她们夫妻二人对于他们6岁的Miles,以及3岁半的Fred采取了亲密育儿法。

    不过,虽然现在她可以说是亲密育儿法的专家,Bialik说在有自己的孩子之前,她从来就没对养小孩儿有过兴趣。“我以前从来没考虑过这类事儿,” 她说道。不过她那时有些已经为人父母的朋友,这些人对怎样为人父母非常、非常的了解。“他们简直对自己的孩子着了魔,”她说道.“孩子就好像是他们所想,所言的全部内容.”在他们朋友的孩子长大以后,Bialik和Roosevelt对这个家庭中这种有趣而又非同寻常的情况饶有兴趣。“我们看到这些孩子并非活在会被惩罚的恐惧之下.他们自己有着发言权--他们的想法被细细考量,即使父母不一定会妥协--但这使的他们感到自己被重视了.”“毋庸置疑,大部分父母都希望自己的教育方式能让孩子过上幸福富裕的生活,”Oklahoma大学青少年研究中心的儿童发育行为学专家Laura McGuinn博士在邮件访谈中回应道。“我们基于这样的想法设立了亲密育儿法互互助组,我们的准则就是:保证母亲与孩子在他们成长期间有着适当的联系,让儿童乃至成人更有信心.”她指出。

    在Bialik怀上Miles的时候, 她和Roosevelt决定自己尝试下亲密育儿法。或许这样的方法并不适合所有人,在某些方面,它也是有争议的。Miles和Fred每天晚上都和爸爸妈妈一起睡。Bialik在他们断奶前一直都在用母乳来喂养他们,现在,她依然会时不时的给Fred喂奶,因为断奶对于这个孩子来说不是一件那么快就能完成的事情。McGuinn说:“第一次看到这些亲密育儿法的相关建议时,就认为这些看起来都是有道理并且很靠谱的。”虽然她还没有读过Bialik的书,但是她说亲密育儿法的确需要更多证据来支持,尤其是养育那些2岁以上的孩子。 “遗憾的是,我们所能接触到的书本还有信息都能够提供给我们可行的建议,但是这些建议几乎没有什么理论和科学依据来支撑。”Bialik说她对这本书某些部分的研究,是以她的博士论文为基础的,该论文中,她研究了人类的荷尔蒙,包括催产素,垂体后叶激素还有泌乳素。“催产素,准确点说,就是一种物质,它能够帮助你更快的有自己的小孩并且让它顺利健康的出生。”Bialik半开玩笑式的说道。这些激素能在很大程度上帮助母亲和婴儿之间建立亲子关系。

    这对思想前卫的父母在他们洛杉矶小家的一个卧室地板上放两个床垫,能够让他们一家人都谁在一起。孩子们并没有充满各种流行玩具的游戏室,Bialik和Roosevelt也做了一个决定,让孩子们的物质生活一切从简。我们的社会现在沉迷于消费至上的理念之中,尤其是在婴儿用品这一领域。我和我的丈夫本着节俭和环保的原则,确实是很不提倡那样的生活方式。能够让孩子们开心并且从中获益的东西太多太多,这样的话,我们全家人都会过着朴实并快乐的生活,Bialik说道:“我们可以用任何方式来让我们的孩子好好的成长,但并不是将大把大把的钱花在那些没什么用的东西上。”

身体上的亲近

    尽量的与孩子保持身体上的亲近是Bialik给予母爱的一大秘诀。她的孩子几个月大的时候,她每天都和孩子依偎在一起,用背带背着他们。“对我来说,背着孩子出门可以让我腾出两手作别的事情的情况下依旧与他们保持亲近。”这样的方式也更方便喂养,也有利于和婴儿之间建立亲密的联系。Bialik还引用了某项研究中的结果,该结果显示经常抱着并且给他们喂奶,这样被照顾大的孩子不容易腹痛。她为她的两个儿子准备了价值35$的包裹式背带,她推荐妈妈们使用背带时都应该让宝宝的身形处于最自然的状态,而不是像很多让那样让宝宝身子伸直爬在自己的背上。

如厕训练

   在《Beyond the Sling》这本书中Bialik也写到早期如厕训练,父母应该尽力去意识到孩子的身体所发出的自然生理信号是什么样的,而不是等到他们大一些时,才带着他们去卫生间。她说:“咱们很多家长2岁之前给小孩用尿不湿,把裤子当厕所,可是2岁之后又得费劲力气让孩子去改变这个生活习惯。”她还是HolisticMoms Network的女发言人,一个专门供家长们分享育儿理念的非盈利性组织。她现在正在计划着写第二本书,并且希望一直成为《生活大爆炸》的全职主演,忙在其中,也乐在其中。孩子是第一的思想并非每个家长都赞同,但对Bialik和她老公来说这是自然而然的事情“大多时候,我们生活的中心就是努力去做好的父母,做我们想要成为的那个样子的父母。”

心思放在孩子的身上,想他们所想

    OU's Mc Guinn提到了英国ElizabethMein的一系列工作,研究那些理解孩子们的理解孩子的家长们,他们像对待每一个人那样对待他们的孩子,尊重他们的想法,思想,信仰。Mein的大部分工作都集中在“父母的理解与开明(能够适当的回应并协调孩子的想法和感受)将会如何影响他们社会认知与社会情感的发展,尤其是那些想法很被尊重的孩子们。”“这样的教育方式将会让孩子们更有同情心和爱心,在面临多种观点时,也多了一些选择的能力。”McGuinn说道“得到的教诲就是孩子们的思维是具有弹性的,我们也并没有那么一个完美的方式去养育你的孩子,”她说。“你只需要去享受孩子们成长的过程,去原谅他们犯下的错误,让他们从跌倒的地方爬起来,然后有所收获,这才是最好的育儿诀窍。”

翻译——∑magic№和WHO_HAS  审校——我的美剧口语梦


来源:

http://newsok.com/attachment-parenting-is-a-holistic-way-of-life-for-actress-mayim-bialik/article/3664692



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